Funny stories

1. Does your dog bite?
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"

"No."

A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.

"That's not my dog."

2. Jesus and the Robber
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rummagged through the desk.

He replied, "Who said that?!"

Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"

The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."

The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"

The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"

3. Lawyer on vacation

lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.

Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. And lying in front of the car was a donkey

4. Clever response

A young girl at school is being told of by the teacher. "You never get anything right," complains the teacher. "What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school?"
And the child replies, "I want to work on TV as a weather girl."

5.

Source: http://tienganh123.com/

Cung dc

Tom has a new bike:
mom look no hands
mom look no feet
mom look no teeth

The man say:
What two words have got thousands of letter in them?
The woman say:
I don't know!
The man say:
Post Office

I have got a terrible problem. I have got a flat in London and a house in Paris.
I have got four cars and one of them is a Rolls - Royce. I have got a boat and a private plane.
> So what's the problem?
I haven't got any money to pay for them !!!!!

Mum, there is a salesman at the door with a moustache.
> Tell him your father have already got one.

Oh Harry say : You love me, you love me
> Okay, You love me

Graham. Spell cattle:
> C-A-T-T-T-L-E
Leave out one of the Ts, Graham!
> Which one?

Name ten things with milk in them.
> Cheese, yoghurt, chocolate, my dad's tea ... and ... six cows

Paul, count up to ten in English for me:
> Yes, miss> One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Verry good. Now continue:
> Yes, miss. Jack, Queen, King

2. Jesus and the Robber
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rummagged through the desk.

He replied, "Who said that?!"

Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"

The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."

The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"

The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"

1. Does your dog bite?
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"

"No."

A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.

"That's not my dog."

I think you took it from the examination

Husband said: Where can you find english or math?
Wife said: I don't know.
Husband said: dictionary.

hahaha. i know where can you take them

white koala wrote:hahaha. i know where can you take them

you can say where? lol

i can't say. if i say, who write this topic will get annoy with me

white koala wrote:i can't say. if i say, who write this topic will get annoy with me

No problem ' v ' my source is http://tienganh123.com

6.
The nature of things…

7.The turtles
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic.

When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. So the youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.

A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "oh, come on, let's just eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"

8.I love you
A man was out for a drink with his wife one night and he said, "I love you".
The wife asked, "Is that you or the beer talking"
He said, "It's me........ I'm talking to the beer"!

9.Too much speeding
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But, officer," the man began, "I can explain"

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say"

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."